Salvation is Here

WOW!!

2011-05-21T20:27:00.001-07:00

I'm still in shock at this all and as time gets closer, I'm becoming more and more anxious/excited. I have training camp in a little over a month and I leave the country in three months!! Ahh!! I'm looking over all the stuff I need for the trip: backpack, daypack, sleeping bag, sleeping pad, head lamp, tent, netbook (well I just need a laptop) and I'm getting overwhelmed. As I look over this list, though, it becomes all the more real that this is REALLY happening!!

I just spent the last hour reading about the specifics for each item I need and watching videos from World Racers that are currently on the trip or have already been. This is going to be an amazing year and God has been preparing me for it my whole life!! My family and friends joke that I don't shave often enough or bathe often enough and I always tell them I was made for an island. Well, I can definitely say I'm made for this kind of lifestyle. I'm holding all this love that I'm dieing to give away and I know that I will have the opportunity. I'm even more excited about the prospect that on this trip I may find the people and place that God is calling me to pour my life into!!!

I can't wait!! Please be praying and if you can help support me financially, my first deadline is coming up on June 18th. I need $3000 and I'm currently at $895. I've learned to trust God in this because last year when I went to Bali, God brought up $2000 in two weeks. We have a BIG God and He is capable of unimaginable things!! I'm thrilled to spend my life dedicated to whatever He has in store!

madissonwisher.theworldrace.org

It's di Easster bUnny!

2011-04-25T23:09:00.000-07:00

I was watching this documentary the other day (before I would have thought of myself as lame for watching a documentary but my roomies here have gotten me into it and I really like it!!) any who it was called God Grew Tired of Us. It was about the lost boys of Sudan, of how they came together and how they have been living together for over 10 years now waiting for the Sudan to stop fighting. If you get the chance, WATCH IT!! Some of the boys - now men- were brought to the states to give them opportunites and it follows there journey to the states over a 3 year period. It was odd to watch as they were brought into an apartment and had to learn how to turn lights on and off, learn that food is ready made and they don't have to cook it, learn that trash goes into a trash can. Just stuff we don't even think about.

Then it came to their first Christmas time. Now these boys know who Jesus is and they know the Bible, but they were so confused at who Santa Claus is and why we have Christmas trees and such. One of them was even asking, "Is this in the Bible?" How pathetic that this is what our holidays have come to be about. How sneaky and deceptive has Satan become in our lives. In the lost boys camp, to GET READY for Christmas, something we wouldn't even think necessary, they have celebrations and sing songs and fellowship. We spend our time in stores and exhausted wasting our money on things that will not be used after 2 months and forgetting who the holiday is about. Not only that but we allow Satan to decide what standards we live to, we watch the ads on TV that show kids opening all these presents and being happy and we think, if we can't do that for our children, we aren't good parents. FALSE!! If it were up to Christ, there would be no presents for us, this is HIS birthday anyways. We don't buy presents for other people on our birthdays, this is a time that should be spent repenting, falling at His feet and worshiping Him, not just the night before at a 2 hour candlelight service. Satan is so deceptive and turns our minds to materalistic things in the western culture. We need to be aware of this as Paul says in 2 Cor. 2:11 - "we may not be taken advantage of by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his intentions." [a little out of context, but still applies to this]

What does this have to do with Easter? What is Easter to the follower of Christ but the most fantastic day of all??? HE IS RISEN!! Our Lord and Savior is NOT dead, He IS alive! He was buried for THREE days and then He rose from the dead, not by anyone's power but His own!! Our God is STILL alive, He died for OUR sins and then DEFEATED death!! Who else can boast of that? They yelled at Him, "He saved others, He cannot save Himself." -Mark 15:31, but He was not on the cross for Himself, He was on the cross for us! So to fill this day and make it about egg hunts and chocolate bunnies and all fun and games, but it's gotten ridiculous. Our God did not die and rise again so that we could sit around painting eggs in honor of Him. This is Satan!! The devil has brought in materialism and consummerism to deter us from what is truly important on this day. Easter should be spent in complete and total worship to the Lord!! I say this not from a point of having used my Easter wisely to praise the Lord to the fullest, but a point of realization that I could have spent so much more time honoring Him that day. It just disgusts me that people would wonder if Santa is in the Bible because we make it such a big deal that it overshadows Christ!!!!

It's a Race...I'm winning, I'm winning!!

2011-04-21T22:23:00.000-07:00

First, if you know what movie that is from, you are fantastic!

Second...it's time for that big news. If you haven't received a letter from me, that's because it's either in the mail or I don't have your address. Sooo....

I'M GOING ON THE WORLD RACE....I leave in September for 11 months in 11 countries!! I'll be doing ministry work in each of these countries and seeing what God is already doing in these places. I'm so excited to go back overseas because I know that my heart is drawn there. I need support in this for sure because in order to go on the trip I have to raise $15,000. That's a lot, I know, but I have to raise it in staggered amounts. So by July 18th I have to have $3000, but Sept. $6000, by Dec. $10,000 and by March the full amount. If you really break it down though, if 150 people give $100, I'm covered. Or even if 75 of my friends and family decide that for two months they will give $50, again covered. It's not much when it comes to the Lord. He has provided for me before and I know that He has given me a strong community for just this reason.

If you would join me in this journey as I learn more about God and share with you, here is a link to my World Race blog. I don't have a large amount of details yet, but I will be keeping everyone updated here and on my other site. Also, please e-mail me your e-mail address if you would like to be on my prayer/update list that I will start sending out in the next few weeks. Prayer is going to be so huge for me in this whole experience and I need you all. God is going to stretch me and challenge me in this time of support raising as well as spending 11 months overseas make relationships and sharing His love. Thanks to all the people that have already started praying for me and for all that will now. I have have the most amazing people in my life! Love you all!!

madissonwisher.theworldrace.org/

There's a Fort calling my name

2011-04-20T12:30:00.000-07:00

   I feel like everyone knows about this, but maybe not. I kept it hush-hush at first simply because I was not excited about it, but I've come to terms and decided that God definitely wants me back at Fort Caswell this summer!!

   Yup, I'll be back as Co-head lifeguard. This will make summer number four, gah I'm getting far too old for this mess. ha ha! I had originally hoped to stay here in California for the summer with the program that I'm working with, but it works out because me not coming back here allows others to get the opportunity to be a part of this fantastic program. I received a phone call from a Mr. Hemphill asking me to come back and my first reaction was "no", I'd given up any idea of going back to Caswell two summers ago. Then this phone call, I spent a whole weekend debating, pro and coning, calling people to get opinions, praying, reading my Bible. I really didn't want to go back, not because I don't absolutely love the people and the place, I just felt like my time there was done and it was time for me to move on. But in a month and 1 week, I'll be back there, so I guess my time wasn't over.

   Also...this isn't my big news!! A lot of you will be receiving letters from me this week and if you want one, send me your address. I'll be saying what it is probably by Monday!

Send Me, I'll Go!

2011-04-19T14:12:00.000-07:00

Lecrae just says it better than me...

i seen it with my own two,
there's no way i can show you

a perfectly poverty stricken people with no view.

And i bet you can't believe this,

they never heard of jesus.

Heard young butler, lil wayne, and young jeezy.

No one's signing up to go on missions this summa.
Rather sit at home and watch exibit pimp in a humma
while a nine year old is shot down.
No one's screaming 'stop now!'
no bridge illustrations for criminals who on lock down.
People deep in africa
looking for an answer bra'.
In china man,
they're dieing man,
until they know who died for sins.
So look what grace did.
Not for us to stay here
inside our comfort zones
at home in mama's basement.
Get out on the grind y'all.
Ain't no better time doll.
I know y'all read the great commission.
Let me just remind y'all:
make disciples of the nations.
Teach'm to obey the lord.
Have to lead someone to christ before i face the lord.
hey! After, 1,000 years in the west and the churches
get'n bigger daily without understand'n worship. (say what?)
Some regenerate but a lot ain't saved.
You walk outside and be surprised cuz the block ain't changed.
And the numbers they be get'n me.
Something just ain't hit'n them.
America ain't christian they practice'n the ritual.
That's why we should be mission though.
Hey, what you think i'm spit'n for?
The united states is die'n
and in the east is looking pitiful.
Some places if they catch you
they'll arrest you.
They'll serve you,
but they still need the word too.
The gospel should be heard too.
We claim we ain't ashamed,
but we ain't hit the block up.
Were in our christian bubble,
while our brotha's get'n locked up.
Lord i wanna stock up,
pack a bag and walk up
in a country where my faith may get me shot up
anywhere i go, whether my city or far abroad,
i just wanna show' christ the risen holy god.
Send me I'll go,
send me I'll go,
send me I'll go,
lemme go lemme go!
i know they're die'n in the streets over in the middle east.
Some kids sink in piece
others hold'n up a piece.
If the violence doesn't cease,
then at least the deceased
might know jesus as their savior as their bodies hit the streets.
And i know this is a graphic view.
And i pray that it's attack'n you.
Track'n you to act and do
what you see in the back illusion.
Mathew twenty-four and fourteen.
We should read it twice
before we think that life is just a battle
see we free in christ!
Look dawg! Life is more than church work and football!
What if you were dead and seen that christians overlooked y'all!
This is why we leave the couch
and leave the comforts of our house
to show a die'n world a god they'll probably never read about.
The great commission says make disciples of all nations.
Have we even made them in our own nation?
Come on christians!
Missions exist because worship doesn't.
People don't worship the god who made them.
We're ambassadors.
Let's go!

2011-04-17T18:09:00.000-07:00

Sorry for not writing this last week, I didn't realize it had been that long. Last week we actually didn't have any groups so mostly we served at different places and one day we had a free day, which was fantastic and just what everyone needed.

Since I don't have anything in particular to talk about, I'm going to tell you about my favorite ministy site here. It's called BARM (Bay Area Rescue Mission). They have a half way house for adults and a culinary program, but we work with the King's Club, an afterschool program for children 1st-12th grade. It's in Richmond which is the #10 most violent city in the nation. If that statistic doesn't help you understand what these kids deal with on a daily basis, one of the students there was shot 2 weeks ago, she most likely dealing drugs at the time because her father is a prominent drug lord in the neighborhood and he made his children follow in his footsteps. She was 14.

This ministry is so beautiful because it is our opportunity to show these kids that they are loved, not just by us but by God. And the people running the program, there are 4 of them, are teaching the gospel. These kids aren't getting just the old Sunday school stories, they were going through the beatitudes last month and of course the easter story this month. One day I had a group of high school students trying to remember a verse and one of the 7th graders not only quote it but tell us where it came from. SHOCKED! These kids know their stuff and proclaim Christ! Unfortunately they have a limited number of mentors and therefore still struggle with bad attitudes, disrespect, hurtful words, etc.

These kids have soo much potential though. Man can they dance and dang do they have dreams! One of my favorite little boys, Malklym, wants to be an engineer AND an architect, if I say just one he will correct me. Many of the girls want to be nurses or doctors, one boy told me he wanted to be a lawyer. They have dreams, they have goals, but where do they get lost? I can't answer that clearly or concisely.

My boy bout to dougie

Please be praying for these children, that God will guard their ears, eyes, and hearts against the temptations and evils of the world. Pray for the staff, they are burdened with the hurts of these children and a love for them and that's a lot for just 4 people. Pray for finances, recently they had to sell a large chunk of their playground because they Rescue Mission was about to go under. Pray for God's love to surround the Richmond neighborhood and that people would start stepping out and living in the "rough" parts of town. We need to believe that Our God is greater than the evils of this world!!

Now that it's sunny I can play basketball with the fellas

Aw Preacher Done Gone And Preached Again!

2011-04-10T13:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder if the Holy Spirit dwells in me, simply because sometimes I just don't feel adequate as a follower of Christ. I'll wonder if I even am saved and maybe I'm just fooling myself into believing that I love Christ enough, but really when He stretches me I sometimes cave. Other times, though, I know the Holy Spirit dwells in me for certain, because I'll start saying something and words come out of my mouth and theologies that I didn't even know I truly believed! That's how I know the Holy Spirit is in me and I have a place saved for me in Heaven.

For example, last night my group decided to walk through the Castro district of San Fran -aka the gay part of town. They just wanted to see what the community was like and I was like okay you can do that. Later that night when we were doing debriefing they were expressing how angry and mad it made them to walk around in that area and see all these homosexuals. They were thoroughly upset.

Now I will state here that I do believe homosexuality is a sin. 1 Cor. 6:9-10, 1 Tim. 1:10,and Romans 1:26-27 are a few verses that support homosexuality as sin and I trust the Bible to be the very word of God. That said, lying is a sin as is murder as is cheating as is anything that draws us away from Christ. The difference with homosexuality is that it is a lifestyle and not repented from, but none the less we are called the love ALL people. God loved me when my life was full of sin and I do not have the right to shun others when I was loved.

So as they were talking about their anger something rose up in me and I felt the need to say it. Ended up that I preached at them for about 5 minutes! Holy Spirit got it done! The thing that was put on my heart was that we look at these people in sin - whether homosexual, drug addicts, thieves, prostitutes - and we see them as disgusting and filthy. But that's not what they are, they are in prison! They are being held captive to these things that Satan is taunting them with and they don't realize it. When we change our perspective to see people as broken, held captive, in bondage to sin, we can see them the way God sees them.

He wants us to be broken for them. He is crying out, "Look at my children in prison!!! Save them, tell them who I am, tell them of the love I have shared with you!! Stop letting Satan crowd your mind with anger so that you pass them by, I LOVE THEM, TELL THEM I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!" Our hearts can be torn to pieces if we stop looking as people in sin as filthy and disgusting and instead look at sin as filthy and disgusting. Satan is the one tempting them, showing them how fantastic this sin is and Satan is the same one telling us that THEY are the nasty, disgusting people full of sin. Satan is a liar! Don't let him deceive you into walking by people in need, he will twist ours minds to believe that we are righteous to stay away from these people, but God calls us to the broken. Even if it's just to love them, hug them and pray for them, maybe if Christians stopped shunning everyone people could finally see Christ.

I pray that we can all look at people in a new light. No longer as "sinners" but instead as people held captive by sin.

Same Kind of Different As Me

2011-04-08T14:10:00.000-07:00

This week I've been reading a book called Same Kind of Different As Me and oh my gosh it's so fantastic!! I would seriously recommend it to any. It's about a rich man and a man who lived on the streets for thirty years and how they meet. It's just so beautiful and reminded me of the faith that those of us with "privilege" don't get the chance to live with. People on the street have faith that they will have enough to live on, that God can truly provide. But we often look at them and see worthless hindrances to society. It's pathetic that we think we are any better. God does not see us as any better and we are all SAVED by the GRACE of God and not by our own choices.

Here are a few beautiful quotes from the book:
(Denver - homeless guy, Ron - rich man, Debbie- Ron's wife)

"God gives each person on the earth a set of keys, keys to live this life down here on the earth. Now in this set, there is one key you can use to unlock prison doors and set captives free...Mr. Ron, I was captive in the devil's prison. That was easy for Miss Debbie to see. But I got to tell you: Many folks had seen me behind the bars in that prison for more than thirty years, and they just walked on by. Kept their keys in their pocket and left me locked up. Now I ain't tryin' to run them other folks down, 'cause I was not a nice fella - dangerous- prob'ly just as happy to stay in prison. But Miss Debbie was different - she seen me behind them bars and reached way down in her pocket and pulled out the keys God gave her and used one to unlock the prison door and set me free...She's the onlyest person that ever loved me enough not to give up on me, and I praise God that today I can sit here in your home a changed man - a free man." -pg. 179-180

"There's something I learned when I was homeless: Our limitation is God's opportunity. When you get all the way to the end of your rope and there ain't nothing you can do, that when God takes over." -pg. 169

"Sometimes it's drinkin or druggin that lands a man on the streets. And if he ain't drinkin or druggin already, most fellas like me start in once we get there. It ain't to have fun. It's to have less misery. To try and forget that no matter how many "partners in crime" we might hook up with on the street, we is still alone." - pg. 73

I'll write more in the next few days, but I hope those quotes make you rethink homelessness. I can tell you that I've met some pretty fantastic people on the streets. Great senses of humor, always willing to help you out, things that any other "normal" human would offer. Just pray that God will open your hearts to what God has called us as followers of Christ to do...

"Then the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.' Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You? ' The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extend that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'"

Quicky Update

2011-03-31T23:08:00.000-07:00

So I'm pretty sure Holly Austin and my mom are the only people that read this blog, but just for you two I will keep updating!!! :-)

This has been a pretty great week. My group of students were a lot of fun and the leaders were pretty great too...I mean you can always find negatives in people, but why focus on them? I was so relieved the first night to have students mature in their faith and that believed the Word of God was true and fact!! I ended up just hugging them all at the very beginning of our prayer tour after they prayed for the first time.

[Side note to my ravenclaw folks if you read this...You are still my favorite college group, they are just now my favorite high school group]

Any who, this week has been a struggle not so much with my group but more so with my own personal stuff. I've been extremely tired all week and monday night I started feeling a little sick, so I've been battling a cold and stocking my body with a lot of Vitamin C. I've had to rely on God a lot to just keep me in good spirits because I really did want to make the best out of this trip for the students, but I was just worn.

I also became aware today that this is starting to become "just a job", which I don't want it to be. I passed a homeless guy and said hey and stuff, but I could tell he actually wanted to talk and instead I just kept walking. NOT okay! So just pray that God is continuously refreshing my heart for this job.

I bought a book last weekend called Permission to Speak Freely by Anne something or another and it's really been challenging me. She asks the question, "What is the one thing you feel you can't say in the church?" I think I have a lot that I would be afraid to say in some of the churches I've attended. She confesses about her porn addiction and sex addiction and just lack of faith at times, it was very interesting. Am I bold enough to step out and tell what I have and still struggle with and allow people to know how much God is working for me? Do I dare hold back His power because I'm ashamed of who I am and have been? Yes, I'm very ashamed and very afraid to admit some things. I can honestly say that I have only one person that may know all that I've struggled with, and it's not a Christian.

Please continue praying for me as God works out some stuff in my life, as I make decisions about my future and that He guides those decisions. Pray for the people of San Fran and Oakland, that my groups and myself will be broken for them and be willing to pour all of ourselves out to them. Pray for health for the hosts here as this bug continues through us. And Praise the Lord for SUNSHINE!!!

I did it for you

2011-03-26T15:12:00.000-07:00

We play this song on our prayer tour for the students and I think it's really cool because it describes what it's like to be living in some of these neighborhoods we are working in.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sus4T4CV-E

"You know what goes well with hot chocolate?

2011-03-26T15:07:00.000-07:00

Some Chris Brown."

"Why you living in Oakland girl?
Cause I Cat Daddy when I Dougie!!"

Let me just tell you all how fantastic my living situation is here. I have 4 roommates and we all co-host when groups come. These women are amazing and all unique. It's been so fun to hear all of their stories and see how God has molded each of us for this time in our lives. The most fascinating part of this living situation is that we are all Christians, yet we don't agree on all things. So this has given us room for discussion in our beliefs. Everyone is pretty open and most nights bring about discussion of the Bible or God. It's interesting to hear the perspectives we all have and challenging as well. What do I believe and why? I've been dubbed a "conservative" Christian by a few people here so far, but my beliefs come solely from the Bible.

It's a neat concept too, in that we share so much of our lives with one another. We openly discuss past experiences and reflect upon them with one another. Last night three of us went to In-N-Out Burger and spent the time there discussing if we had "mommy" or "daddy" issues (of which I have both, haha) and how those effect our lives and how we've dealt with them. It's just a great environment in which to process with one another openly in a way that I've never experienced before. I don't feel like I have to be guarded with these girls, but that I can bring everything to the table.

We spend nights laughing about our groups, Cat Daddying, watching the Office, sharing book reviews, and praying for one another. Such an interesting life style that I would never have pictured myself a part of, and once again God shocks me with His wonders.

"There will be false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you"

2011-03-21T23:01:00.000-07:00

- 2 Peter 2:1-2

Let me tell you how fired up I am with an anger from the Lord right now! It is an anger and a sadness all wrapped into one. An anger because His name is being blasphemed and a sadness because young minds are being taught lies disguised as the truth. Oh how I want to scream at these people, "MY GOD IS BIGGER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE!!!!"

I'll set up the situation before I continue on. My group for the week claims to be Presbyterian, which I would interpret as Christian...I think we all would. They have been informing me, however, that they accept all people and all religions. They view the Bible as a good reference to how to live a good life, but out dated for the 21st century. And my heart is just ripping apart as they tell me these things!!!

"Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will never pass away." -Matt. 24:35

"All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be complete and equipped for every good work." - 2 Timothy 3:16

I don't understand how you can claim a belief in Christ and not believe the very words He preached. My heart is broken.

"There is one body and on Spirit, just as you were called to one hope at your calling; one Lord, one faith , one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all." - Ephesians 4:4-6

"Jesus told him, 'I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.'" -John 14:6

"Enter through the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the road is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who go through it. How narrow is the gate and difficult the road that leads to life and few find it." - Matt. 7:13-14

Lord if I knew how to cry out to you in a way appropriate enough to tell of the heart wrenching anger I have, teach me to do so! I'm bearing this hurt to you all because I need your prayer tremendously this week. Never have I felt so enraged in the name of the Lord. They claim Christ but don't follow Him and it's like taking His name and trampling it. Saying, "I want your protect Christ, but F you if you try to direct me and guide me." I want to tell them that they are teaching lies, that if Christ were here today He would tell them to get away from Him and stop claiming His name. My heart is full of sadness for my Lord, my Love!!!

It's so easily misinterpreted that God has this set of rules to hold us back, but His rules are meant to keep us from evil. He has such magnificent plans for us and we tell Him that we know better when we don't follow these rules.

If you know me, you know that I will love you, whoever you are. No matter what you believe, what color you are, how much money you have, I will love you as much as I can. That is my call from Christ and I am trying my hardest to follow His example. But Christ was "conservative" (as this group calls me), He says that He is the ONLY way, the ONLY truth! I can not accept other religions and beliefs as true, the way is narrow, Christ is truth. My God is big enough not to need ANYTHING from me, He allows me to serve Him and to be in His presence.

Please pray that I continue to have conversations with this group, the students and the leaders. That they see something different in this so-called conservative Christian. Please pray that their minds would realize that Christ far better intentions for our world than we can imagine. Please pray for Satan and his demons to be tossed away from this group, they are oppressive and I can feel their presence constantly. I love you all and know that I can trust you in this request.

You Are My Sunshine

2011-03-19T15:51:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone that is keeping up with me, praying for me and encouraging me. I love you all and am so blessed to have so many wonderful friends in my life! Just to let everyone know, I do have some access to skype now. So text me if you want to talk and my name is mwish05. I can't promise that it will happen bc most nights are pretty packed and it's 12 East Coast time before I even get done. But again, I love you all and am sooo blessed!!! Thank you thank you thank you times a million for believing in me and supporting me in this journey God is taking me on.

What is poverty?

2011-03-19T12:55:00.000-07:00

This week I've been challenged by God in my view of poverty. First because I've caught myself thinking that those living on the street NEED me, how selfish and prideful of myself. Since when has anyone not been able to survive without me, God gives me the privilege to meet these people and to serve them. At the same time we had a group here that was mainly non-Christians and my heart was very hard towards them. They came on this trip to serve and complained the whole time about the work they had to do, went against our rules, and were just kinda rude. How dare they!! But when did God make a distinction and say not to love these people? They don't claim to be believers, so why do I hold them to the same standard I hold my group? And are they any less poor than those living on the streets, because both demographics are heading to Hell at the same speed, and both are already spending their lives in bondage to Satan. So what's the difference?

I asked my group this question last night during debriefing because it has been on my heart for the last day or so. What are some characteristics that we define for the poor (once we take away their lack of money and possibly lack of knowing Christ)? We see loss of self worth, lack of self confidence, isolation, hurt, desire for love, etc. Now if we apply money to that, do we not have a large population of America? Girls who think they are only worth what they can give to a guy physically. Men who believe they have to be the best at everything or they are nothing. The world is teaching our people to turn to drugs and alcohol to drown out the pain, to turn to sex to feel loved, but all this does is put the feelings on hold until the high is gone and everything comes rushing back in along with regret. Who are we supposed to reach out to? Is it just the poor? What is poor????

"As for those who were held in high esteem—whatever they were makes no difference to me; God does not show favoritism—they added nothing to my message. 7 On the contrary, they recognized that I had been entrusted with the task of preaching the gospel to the uncircumcised, just as Peter had been to the circumcised. 8 For God, who was at work in Peter as an apostle to the circumcised, was also at work in me as an apostle to the Gentiles. 9 James, Cephas and John, those esteemed as pillars, gave me and Barnabas the right hand of fellowship when they recognized the grace given to me. They agreed that we should go to the Gentiles, and they to the circumcised. 10 All they asked was that we should continue to remember the poor, the very thing I had been eager to do all along." - Galatians 2:6-10

God put this verse on my heart last night as I was thinking through all of this. He will send some to the rich and some to the poor, neither of which is better than any other. Who are you called to serve with the love of Christ?

Sometimes I Thank God for Unanswered Prayers

2011-03-17T22:17:00.000-07:00

*Disclaimer: If you are one of those people who is going to flip out b/c I said "unanswered" prayers, calm down. I realize God sometimes just answers with no or later, I'm fully aware that He does always hear our prayers and answer them in His own way.*

Today is March 17th, St. Patrick's Day! A not so notable day in my life until two years ago when the boy I loved at the time broke up with me. But I would like to take this time and just praise God for answering "no" to all the times I prayed that He would let this guy realize we were meant for each other. I want to thank God for taking MY dreams of marrying this guy, becoming a physical therapist, spending life in America and occasionally overseas, spending my life desiring nothing more than to please my husband and raise children, and just completely dashing them and throwing them out of line. I'm not saying that any of those are bad dreams, but God has given me a new dream, His dream. I want nothing more than to serve Him as best as I can. If that allows me to marry, I will more than happily; if it allows children, I will take them more than willingly; and if it includes neither, I won't waste my life mad at God for not letting me live a "fulfilled" life.

"I want you to be without concerns. An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord - how he may please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the things of the world - how he may please his wife - and he is divided. An unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But a married woman is concerned with many things of the world - how she may please her husband. Now I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but because of what is proper, and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction." - 1 Corinthians 7:32-35

Two years ago, I was such a different person than I am now. But I thank God that He was willing to spend time to change me into the woman He desires for me to be. I'm still a work in progress, fo sho fo sho, but God is teaching me everyday what it means to love Him and His people and not to waste that time on thinking about marriage and seeking fulfillment from a man. God is enough for me.

I thought we encouraged recycling!

2011-03-16T18:05:00.000-07:00

Today has been a fantastic day. I did have to wake up a little before seven and get breakfast set up for all the groups, but my group didn't actually leave until 9. We went to St. Vincent de Paul's dining room where we served lunch. They are finally opening up and cutting jokes and getting my sarcasm which is nice. When we got there we weren't really sure what we were doing and it was a little awkward, but then it went great. There was a group from Japan there and my group loved getting to interact with them. I got to run around to the different stations my people were at and so I was able to see what all was going on. I also met a few of the normal volunteers there and they are fun people who were more than willing to chat with me (and we all know I love to talk and make new friends!) Then when we ate, everyone sat with someone that was being fed (this is pretty much a soup kitchen.) I sat with a lady and two guys. The lady was telling me she was from the area and then the guys chimed in for some reason. I told them I went to Clemson and one of them started to tell me he knew a guy from S.C when he was in prison. Then I asked him why he was in prison and he said robbery, but then told me that recently he'd been put into prison for recycling. It was kinda a silly thing. See, the homeless will often go through the trash here to collect things that can be recycled and they will take these things and get money for them, very small amounts of money, but still at least they are trying to do something. Well anywho, apparently he was going through the trash at an apartment building or something and the owner called the cops. It was private property, but instead of just giving him a trespassing ticket, the cop gave him a ticket for theft and he had to go to the county jail for 6 months (i think is what he said). How silly? The he recently got a ticket for taking recycling out of the blue recycling containers, which he probably won't end up paying. Haha, I was amused that he was given tickets for taking care of the ecosystem.

Then I sent my team out on a mission to use $10 to meet the need of someone in the Haight Ashbury neighborhood (hippy street) and I met with one of my directors. Found an excellent chai latte on my way back to meet them and made a new cafe friend! Always good. Then we went to Alamo square and got some pictures with the Full House houses. Good day all together.

Flexibility - a learned virtue

2011-03-15T14:26:00.000-07:00

Groups typically come in on Sunday nights, therefore we had the first part of Sunday free for church(check out the previous blog) and laundry and starbucks hot chocolate of course. Then we had a little party for one of our girl's birthday, then it was briefing time. We learned about our groups - mine is from a Bible school in colorado- and received our schedules for the week. We barely had 10 minutes to prepare with our partners for the week (mine is Becky, a beautiful, wonderful, laid back woman of Christ) then the groups were arriving. Ah!! Our group was 30 minutes late and only had one vehicle with room for the 12 of them and no one else. Now, they were planning on getting a vehicle the next morning, but the first night is very important because we do something called a prayer tour of the city. It's what we've been practicing the most all week. (PS thank you Caleb Presson for letting me read the whole thing to you!!)

We aren't legally allowed to drive anyone in these groups around, so we had to take a separate car and just have them follow us. Then after dinner we did our prayer tour and it was a little awkward because I had to call them and they plugged their phone into their car so they heard me through the speakers. One important part of the prayer tour is seeing the students faces as they process stuff b/c otherwise it feels very much like there is a lot of empty time in it. The bonus of having them in the other car was that my partner kinda knew the route of the tour and I wasn't as stressed about giving directions as we drove around. The down side, I wasn't really giving her directions and we missed a turn. Haha! But we realized it and got ourselves around and they didn't even know we had messed up. Well done.

So God is already teaching me what it means to be flexible with the groups and realize that not everything is going to fit into the cookie cutter idea of what we had for it here. We have a schedule, but things change constantly and not everyone is going to have the same experience. But now I have to go brief them on our next activity and deliver food to some people with AIDS/HIV. The love of God is all through the streets of San Fran, I'll tell you more about how wonderful He is in a bit.

LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

Just some REGENERATING thoughts

2011-03-15T14:13:00.000-07:00

Sunday was a half relaxed and half crazy thought, but I'm going to start with some fun stuff we learned during church. We went to this place called ReGeneration, I was thinking it was going to be one of those mega-church kinda things, but it was actually in a small Koren church building and the Koreans have their service after us. So anywho, the preacher was focusing on the story of the man with "Legion" living in him.

He started to talk about how we often tell people that once they become Christians, everything gets easier and it's just not true. When you accept Christ into your life, you've chosen your stance in a spiritual war where the enemy is very real. My thoughts on this, I completely agree. Everything doesn't necessarily get better, Christ just changes our values and priorities so that our joy comes from a different source than before - Christ.

Another thing he pointed out, that pertains more to the story, was that Jesus truly values us. He would rather save this one man than keep alive a whole herd of sheep that could have been used for food. He loved this man so much that He took a boat to reach JUST him. That was the only ministering Jesus did in Gerasenes when He went that time. Healed the man, then left.

The last thing that he talked about that stuck out to me was how Jesus agreed to the request of the demons(sent them into the pigs) and to those who opposed Him (left when asked to). However, when the one person that believed in Him asked for something (to follow Him), He refused the request. The preacher used Mark 3:35- "Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother" - saying that Jesus knew the previously demonized man was a brother because he was willing to listen to what Jesus told him to do. I think we can take this a step further in that, sometimes our heart wants one thing, but Christ knows that He can trust us to do what is required and to spread His word.

And that was all, then we walked home. :-)

Mmmk lady...calm down

2011-03-12T22:27:00.000-08:00

After we partook in the Meet a Need deal, we decided to grab a quick bite in the neighborhood, always down for some Mexican. Now the funny thing is, it took us about an hour to find people to serve to complete our task for the day, then all of a sudden people start popping up everywhere. First this lady tells us she is hungry, so we offer to buy her lunch, but instead she asks us to buy her some bread and juice at a little market when we get done. We then say, well come on with us and you can just pick out what you want. This was a learning experience...she went into the market and started picking out meat, juice, crackers, tampons, and thermaflu. She would ask, can I get this, and trying to be generous I just kept saying, oh yea that's fine, get what you want. The total...$32!!! Ahh!! But we were going to split the costs between 3 of us, so I was like whatever. We buy the stuff, pray for the lady, she walks us to the restaurant and we part ways. Well then, as we are about to order, she walks in the restaurant and asks us for money so she can get a BART ticket. I'm like, WHAT?, we just spent flipping 32 bucks on you lady (this is all mental). We ask her why and how much she needs, eight dollars, so we all give her a little change and apologize that we can't give her more. After that we decided that as a group we would offer people only $10 to spend if we did that again, otherwise we'd be broke in a hot minute.
Then we went to visit Chinatown since it was our day off. We met a lady, or man, I'm not really sure. He was Chinese and spoke gibberish, and we offered him/her a chewy bar but she/he refused it so we offered him/her an orange and she/he asked us to peel it for him/her. So we sat down and one of the girls peel the orange for this person.
Then we met another guy asking for money and offered him the chewy bar, but he said he only had one tooth so he couldn't eat it, but his friend took the offer and we apologized, but the first guy said it was okay and told us he needed to get himself some dental work.
Then we met another guy and offered him a granola bar, which he graciously took. Then another guy asked us for a down payment on a hamburger, which was too funny not to donate a little change to, and we shared a quick giggle with him.
I also bought 48 postcards for $6. Overall, it was a successful day and God really showed me how far simple ministry can go. I often try to think how I can do something BIG to serve a large amount of people but I become overwhelmed by it and end up doing nothing. Today, I got to be a part of serving over twelve people!! Sometimes we just need to look at the small pictures.

Oh the little things

2011-03-12T22:16:00.000-08:00

Today was the first day that we had on our own, but we still had a task that had to be fulfilled. We were supposed to go to the Mission District - mainly Hispanic- and with $10 meet the need of someone there but try to do something other than buy food. So we went and walked down the street of our boundaries to get a feel. Met a random guy who kept trying to speak Spanish to us - which is when I realized my Indonesian had overridden my little bit of Spanish. Then we finally found this group of seven guys and decided to talk to them. We split up a little and found out through conversation that the guys needed some socks and water (Mind you we talked to them for about 5 minutes before even getting to the topic of needs). So we told the guys to stay where they were (though apparently the corner they were on is "their" corner) so we walked a few blocks and found a dollar store. We were able to buy 8 pairs of socks, 3 reusable water bottles and 2 boxes of chewy bars for $9.63. SCORE!! So we took them to the guys and talked to them for a while long. The most beautiful thing happened in the midst of all of this. One guy was passed completely out and our friend Carlos went over to him, took his shoes and socks off, put on the new pair of socks and then put his shoes back on for him. It was just such a generous thing that I probably never would have thought to do and he did it without a thought. Sometimes we try to think that we are the only ones that have anything to offer, then things like this happen and I'm reminded that these people have so much to teach me about community and love.

Oh what up San Fran

2011-03-08T20:38:00.000-08:00

One of the activities we have students do while they are in S.F is something called a city tour. You get $2 per person and a map with boundaries that you have to stay within, and your goal as a group is to find out facts about the homeless in the community and to buy a meal for your group and someone else. So the journey began...
We live in Oakland, across the bridge from S.F. So to start our directors gave us enough money to take the BART system across the Bay and to have our $2 each. Our first stop once in the Tenderloin area (one of those areas you don't go into unless you're looking for trouble) was to go out of it for a second and visit the Public Library. It was HUGE, I'm talking maybe 5 stories but with just so much space and so much going on. Then we visited City Hall, to my surprise, I was informed that often throughout the week a judge will stand on the steps inside city hall and people will just walk up and get married. We watched as one couple got married and the next walked up for their turn. Pretty odd, I thought.
Well then we started venturing into the actual Tenderloin and I was so amazed by how many homeless people I saw. I've never been to a city where I've seen sooo many homeless people on the streets during the street and they are very obviously homeless people. But I also noticed how they all hung out and seemed to know each other and that the streets were their community, which was a neat concept. So we walked to the mall and inside the mall, in the middle of this bad part of town, were Dolche stores and BCBG stores. How is it possible that I went from seeing a homeless man sitting on a corner to walking in the door of a mall with so much wealth? I'll come back to this...
So we met a man named David who lives in the SRO's, he was very upfront when we asked to get his opinion on the neighborhood and told us that he had a low IQ and wasn't sure he could help us. But he was fantastic, and very helpful. He gave us names and directions to places we could stay, eat for cheap and even places that would help us find jobs.
We then continued our search for very cheap food and ran into Janis and Rootsman. They were a very kind couple. Once again, more than willing to talk with us and tell us their opinions of the neighborhood as well as where to find necessities. We told them we were looking for pizza and would love for them to join us for a slice. They were happy to join us and Janis lead us to the place while Rootsman mingled his way behind us, greeting lots of friends as we passed along. We order a 12" sausage pizza (because Janis was insistant on sausage) and sat downstairs to wait for it to get ready. Janis told us all about her life, how she met Rootsman, where she was staying, etc. She even started calling us "her girls". But when Rootsman brought the pizza down, Janis apparently thought he was eyeing our girl Kelly and she all of a sudden slapped him. This became tense for all of us, it was embarrassing, we weren't sure if she was going to slap Kelly too, Rootsman looked so angry and humiliated. So we just kept telling her how much we were enjoying our time with her and asking her again to tell us how to get to the places she'd told us about. It turned into the two of them screaming they were going to beat each other and such across the restaurant and then all of us leaving. Janis did apologize and we were able to leave on good terms with her ( I should have included that both admitted to drinking a bit before we met them).
Anywho, so that was a very dramatic end to our day. But when we were debriefing about it, our assistanct director Tara was telling us, well you've been embarrassed before too and it didn't have to do with associating with homeless people. We are going to be embarrassed during life, it's just part of it, but atleast we were doing something meaningful while this embarrassment happened. Hopefully we will get to see Janis and Rootsman again during our time here.

I love you all very much and thank you for being willing to read this with your free time. Please continue to pray for me and the people I'll be interacting with.

Look Me in the Eyes at Least (Part 2)

2011-03-07T21:04:00.000-08:00

"Eyes" by a homeless man from Chicago

Look me in the eyes at least,
When you pass me by on the street,
Whether or not you answer my plea for money:
My eyes are the poorest of me -
Require only your two cents when we meet -
And are more in dire need of these than your feet.
My poor eyes! How they have spent the rent
Trying to buy a pleasant remembrance
To throw up on my mind's screen when I finally tire
Of going ungreeted, unseen.
I tell you what I want - what I feel
When you shuffle by behind your paper
Trying to be discreet, sweating slightly
Under your suit collar and looking down,
Always down, as if I were your sin...
Be absolved of the guilt trip! Look at me!
Made me a mint! Shower me with riches!
Give me a long look, and drown me in it!
Dignity outlasts dollars.

Last night we went on a prayer tour of San Francisco and it was a lot to take in. First, I have to say that San Fran is not a pretty place at all. The archtect is lacking to what I'm compared to in Charlotte, Chicago and even NYC and the parks are scarce to non-existant. Not to say that there are not places in S.F that have a pretty view, but I only really saw one that I was even slightly impressed by, so I was a little shocked because all the pictures I've ever seen make it look so nice. This was something else that surprised me, though we went through "nice" parts of town, even those did not seem all that nice and maybe we stuck more to the lower income parts and I've just yet to see the really nice parts of S.F. But as we were driving along, our guide informed us that part of what we were driving through was once the "red light district" of S.F, which 1) I didn't know anywhere but Amsterdam had those, and 2)it broke my heart to see what was still there as part of it. We drove by one street that had HUGE light up signs, similar to what you might see in Vegas, for strip clubs. It tore my heart apart, if there is anything that breaks me, it is a woman not realizing that she is worth more than the value a man gives her.
We also drove through Chinatown, where I learned that there are actually sweat factories going on within there. The Chinese people there will hire imigrants for cheap labor and long hours. Ironic I think.
We passes a school with a park right beside it and were informed that often the students of the school had to walk 5 blocks for recess because the park beside them was often locked up due to needles being scattered about.
We saw so many people hanging out on the streets because the streets are basically their living rooms. They live in Single Room Occupancy (SRO) housing, which is a 10 X 10 room and therefore don't generally want to spend much time there.

Even through all this, God is working. There were several ministries that we passed that had buildings in the roughest neighborhoods. They are serving on the frontlines, unafraid of the dangers around them. They are reaching out and giving people a place to turn instead of to drinking and drugs, they are providing clothing, places to eat, even housing. The darkness can keep the light away.

As you pray for me, here are also some of the things we were asked to pray for on this tour:
-Those seeking comfort in drugs, alcohol, sex and illegal activities
-The families of teen runaways and the teens sleeping on the street tonight
-The safety of the prostitutes who will be working on these streets tonight
-Those seeking to fill their lives with wealth and material things, rather than letting God fill their hearts
-The men who frequent adult theatres - most of them have wives and children at home, and many of them are held captive by sexual addictions - pray that they will be released from this bondage.
-The women who work in these establishments - that they would realize that they are precious in the eyes of their Creator, and that they are worth more than this
-For the ministries working alongside each other in this city.

Well that's all from day one and there is a lot more for me to write, but I'm exhausted and I think this is a lot to take in, so I'll try and write more sometime tomorrow! Love you all and thank you for your prayers!!!!!!!

Flowers in My Hair (Part 1)

2011-03-07T20:56:00.000-08:00

Okay, since it's nine at night here but I still feel like it's midnight, I'm going to try to keep these posts pretty short. So my trip to the San Fran Bay area was quite an adventure. When I arrived at the airport, the check-in lady informed me that my luggage was 12 lbs over the limit. Luckily, I have the most fantastic sister, who turned around and came back to the airport so I could throw exactly 12 lbs worth of stuff into her car and my bookbag (which then because ridiculous to carry). But then I was solid and headed into the airport for round two and passed the test!!! Oh and p.s if you aren't trying to get patted down by TSA, I suggest flying out of Charlotte because I didn't see anyone having that problem.
My layover in Minneapolis was about an hour late and then my plane was an hour late landing in S.F, so I was two hours late here. But then I had to take the subway (a.k.a BART) to get where I was going, about an hour on the subway. Then had to lug my 50 lb suitcase and my 5 billion lb bookbag up about 100 stairs bc the escalators were broken!!! No worries though, that is how God keeps up my muscle tone. At this point a white car pulled up to pick me up and we stood in the street for a few minutes because the car we are using is a rental and we couldn't figure out how to open up the trunk. Then I was in the car, safe and sound with two of my supervisors and another girl that is going to be hosting!! All together, I'd say a successful trip. I even made a friend on my second flight and we played angry birds on his iphone together. God is good.

New Things Are About To Begin!!

2011-02-28T19:58:00.000-08:00

Alright, so for anyone who doesn't know I leave this Sunday, March 6th, for San Francisco!!! I'll be working with an organization called Center for Student Missions. It focuses on poverty and injustices in the cities, and has hosting in places like Chicago, Toronto, D.C, Philly, New York City and a few other places. Basically my job will be to host groups that come to stay with us, and these will usually consist of middle school and high school youth groups. I will take them for a tour of San Fran, give them statistics and just historical facts about the city and we'll pray over it. Then for the next few days, my job will be to take them to different food shelters, food banks, underpriveledged schools, etc. to show them the reality of those in poverty in the city. Another big part of the trip is to take the groups to different ethnic restauraunts so they can experience different cultures. Really, to me this is a chance to open up young minds to what it means to be the hands and feet of Christ. Not just to pray for them, though that is a great thing, but to actually do something.

So please be praying for me as I start this journey. It's only for two months, but I hope to learn a lot about how to help those who are oppressed. God has been doing great things in my life since I left the Pacific Rim, and though it has taken me some time to see why He has allowed this past year to go the way it has, I understand that He has brought me to a level of understanding Him that I would not be at otherwise. Pray that my heart will be in the right place, that I will be constantly humbled and not think myself special for doing the work that God has called me to do. I love you all!!!

Take the Shackles off My Feet So I Can Dance!!

2010-05-17T05:32:00.000-07:00

4 months. 4 months. For us. 1 and a half years for others. 3 and a half for some. That's how long we served on this island. This island without seeing anyone leave their false idols and come to know the Father. But today...this day...the angels will rejoice in Heaven!! Praise the "Lord of heaven and earth [who] does not live in shrines made by hands. Neither is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives everyone life and breath and all things." -Acts 17:24-25. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!

Just Around the Riverbend

2010-05-11T01:10:00.001-07:00

So I've been trying to figure out my next step in life. I want the Father to lead me but so far, I haven't felt much of a pull except to continue to follow him overseas. I've thought seriously about seminary several times and still am thinking about it. For now my summer will take me to New Jersey and the fall will have me working in S.C. It will be good to stay at home for a while and spend time with my family, something I haven't done in almost 4 years. But there is still this restless desire in my heart that has been telling me that next spring I'm supposed to do something different. I've been looking all through the organization's website for something to do next spring. Really anything anywhere that is for more than a week or two. But strangely enough nothing has come up. I've even broadened my search to doing something in America. Nothing. Working at a boarding school for MK's. Nothing. Then one of my girl friends currently serving in South America sent me an e-mail about something she is planning on doing starting in Oct. I don't want to put it out there yet, but I went ahead and looked it up. It is something that I am highly interested in and am now praying fervently about. I ask that you all pray as well that if this is where the Father is calling me to be, that He make it so obvious I have no other options in life. Thanks in advance for your prayers.

Concerning where I am now, it's pretty much over. We are winding down with just 3 days left here. Then we will be in the Philippines for a few days then back to the states. It's been quite the adventure and it's been hard. After reading my friend's blog (same one mentioned above) and seeing how much the Father is working in her area and using her, I started to think my time here was a waste. We haven't seen hardly anything happen. But then He spoke to me and said, "You were obedient, that's enough." So I know that He has used us and though I might not visually see the outcome, I will see these people when I reach Heaven.

Can't wait to hug you all!!

Water falls are just another stepping stone

2010-05-01T00:55:00.000-07:00

About to head back up north for our final week there!! This is crazy! It's almost over! But that just means there needs to be an extra amount of lifting up. We plan to hang out with a university friend tomorrow, we've already been able to share a little with her, so the Father willing, we will get to share more. Then we are going to just walk our city one day. Another day involves going to the touristy part of our region and trying to talk to some of the merchants, they are always super sweet when they realize we aren't tourist and we can speak the language.
The next two days after that will be spent in the village...our last two days with our Bapek and Memek and saudara...sadness!! But they are going to make up a bunch of casava chips to bring home! Those are my favorite, I hope they don't get bad before we get home, if they do, I guess I'll just have to eat them all by myself. haha, but our bapek tried to tell us that we couldn't go home because he said that we weren't allowed and we had to listen to our dad. haha!! That will probably be the hardest part of leaving here, leaving our family.
Thursday night will be our last college night for teaching english. Then friday we pack and sat. head back down south. It's going to flyyyyyy by! Don't let me get lazy this week Father! Push me and make me anxious!!!!

Married Life

2010-04-30T02:03:00.000-07:00

Well being here in Indonesia has taught me that I need to get married. Haha, the Indonesian believers prayed that all us single girls would find husbands soon. Not to mention I just hit the 22 mark, which means my plan of being married by 25...hopefully 24...is getting closer and closer!! I'm not sure if I can stand this pressure! To add to that, the new NewSpring series that we have just started watching is called "Don't Get Married Until..." and it's all about what to look for in a marriage. (NewSpring is my church in America). Oh the signs are EVERYWHERE!!!!!
Then of course our "daddy" here is constantly giving us advice on future mates...his most helpful advice so far...just say what you mean. See I always thought guys just enjoyed the whole, "well I think I like this person...it may or may not be you...I don't know, maybe I don't really like this person...how do you feel about that?" You know the whole subtle approach.
Then we went to dinner the other night with one of the other married couples we worked with and we had a really good talk about marriage and dating and such. They said the person you marry is not going to change, so if you think that by marrying them things will get better you are wrong. Crap, I planned to just marry the next guy that came along and then make him into who I wanted, I guess that's out now. They also talked about not marrying someone with a different calling, that's my biggie. And in response to that PLEASE GUYS, START WANTING TO DO OVERSEAS WORK!!!!!! How am I supposed to find a husband to live overseas with me if they all want to stay in America! Come on guys, help a lady out!!! They also gave the advice that a guy wants to pursue a girl and not have the girl pursue them, ok done.
In conclusion I have realized that I will never find a husband and that I might as well just buy a dog that is willing to travel the world with me.

There's No Time for UNDERWEAR!!!!!!!

2010-04-22T21:53:00.001-07:00

So some pretty awesome stuff has been going down here and I truly believe it's thanks to all the people lifting up myself and the people here. I just want to say THANK YOU first off. The Father is hearing your words and He is working to change lives here. First one of the girls that I have already mentioned here has said that she knows the Son is real in her head, but she isn't sure in her heart. We had a lot of opportunities to share with her this weekend when we went down south with her. She has been asking some good questions.
Another pretty awesome thing is that my partner and I teach English class every thursday night. Now we are both getting worn down and ready to go home. We were expecting to be down south this thursday, so we didn't think we would have to teach. But we ended up being home, so against our personal desires, we decided to go ahead with the English class for the night. We always use a story from the Word. Anywho, we started talking about which story we should use for the night and it popped into my head to use the time when a student was asked 3 times if he loved his Teacher. Funny enough, my partner just so happened to have read that story that morning. So we figured it was what we were supposed to use. So we went ahead and wrote it out, usually we summarize, but it was so short we pretty much just used what was in the Book. We made copies and on our way home I started to feel pretty sick. Then when we got home I got pretty sick. Luckily I have an amazing partner and she decided she was going to do the class by herself. A working couple came over to check on me and help her out, but they allowed her to lead the class as normal and didn't try to take it over. This was especially good for my partner b/c she isn't predisposed to leading, but she did it and she did it great! The students asked a lot of questions and she boldly answered. I know that I wasn't supposed to be there because she needed this opportunity to present the Word without me getting in the way. It was great to just hear after wards how the Father set this all up and how well it worked out!!
We know the enemy is trying to distract us with disappointments here and with the desire to go home, but as is said in 2 Cor. 2:11 "for we are not ignorant of [Satan's] intentions." Continue to lift us up!! Love you all

A Call We Can't Deny

2010-04-19T19:01:00.000-07:00

"For if I preach the G, I have no reason to boast, because an obligation is placed on me. And woe to me if I do not preach the G! For if I do this willingly, I have a reward; but if unwillingly, I am entrusted with a stewardship." - 1 Cor. 9:16-17

It is necessary that we realize that the task we have been entrusted with is not something we "feel called to" or something we need motivation for. Whether I am in America or a million miles away, the task is the same. Speak the truth, tell people about the only one who can save them, and act lovingly at all times.

"My speech and my proclamation were not with persuasive words of wisdom, but with a demonstration of the spirit and power." -1 Cor. 2:4

Time is going by somewhat faster now that time to leave is fast approaching. It's weird to think it's only been 3 months because I feel like I've been here forever. The enemy is trying to tempt me into spending all my time reflecting on America and how badly I want to be there, but I have work to do here. Lift me up in this please, just that my anxiousness for home will be transformed into an anxiousness to see these people in my final home. The Father is already working at my heart and allowing me to see these people similar to how He sees them, I could not bare to see how He fully views them, my heart would completely break. But we do have one girl in particular named Kembar...which means twin so it's not really a name. She is saying that she really like the son and that when she reads His word it makes her feel better all day long. She believes in one Father, but she thinks that all beliefs will lead to him and that's where our Father has to show her that there are other things, but He is the only real, good Father. I hope that is understandable...so lift her up in that please!

Saya rindu kalian banyak dan saya mau pulong sekarang tapi harus tinggal disini dan lakukan kerja!!! Sayang kalian!!!!!!

[I miss you all a bunch and I want to come home now, but I have to stay here and do work! I LOVE ya'll!!!!!]

Oh The Places We will Go

2010-04-09T22:31:00.000-07:00

So just for some light hearted fun, I feel that everyone should know of a current adventure my partner and I embarked on. You see, about a 45 minute bike ride from our house is a touristy little spot where lots of the Indonesians speak a fair bit of English. We have wanted to go out there for the longest time, not really as tourists but as people living in indonesia who just wanted to talk. So we went about 2 weeks ago and it was a good time, we met a few ladies that we were hoping to go back and talk to.
Today we decided to make the trip again, after many time consuming things had held us back from going. So we wake up an hour late at 8 instead of 7...haha and that is actually a pretty late wake up for us!! oh how indonesia has changed me!! Anywho, we pack up a book bag and head out into the heat of the day. Now the first time we made this bike ride, we stopped twice to get some energy. Today we were just going along, and it didn't seem like we had been biking for that long when Brette stops me to ask if we have passed our destination. I was still looking for one of the places we had stopped at the first trip, so I figured we were only about 1/2 way there. But as we continue to go, i realize that nothing looks familar, so we turn around. Sure enough, we had passed the place.
So we pull in and begin to chain up our bikes, luckily just to each other and not a pole or anything. You see normally, I grab the bike chain, but today, Brette grabbed it. As I was putting the chain on, I was thinking to myself, "self, I don't think this is the right bike chain, but maybe Brette found the keys we lost." So I chained up the bike and had the idea to try the keys...after the bike was locked. Turns out, Brette had not found the keys, we had just grabbed the wrong ones. so now, we are a 45 min. bike ride away from home with bikes that are chained together. I say, "it's fine we'll just call our friends and have them pick us up." To which Brette replies, "I didn't bring the phone." ADO!!! Luckily though, she did accidentally bring her phone!! So we were saved by our two friends who drove out and picked us up with our bikes. It did turn out good b/c we convinced them to eat breakfast with us and the guy made a friend. So yay!!! The End.

His name WILL be know

2010-04-06T22:21:00.000-07:00

It's time, if you are reading this please be lifting this island up constantly!! The Father has put it on my heart, these people have to know! Darkness can't reign here any more! He is far more powerful! Let your heart be torn!

I am Giving you the work of the Priesthood as a GIFT!!

2010-04-04T20:34:00.000-07:00

-Numbers 18:7

Remember that the Father allows us to serve Him, not for His benefit, but for our own!

So I had planned to write out a few blogs telling of the adventures I've been having here, but i just got a few e-mails telling me that one of my good friends from Disney passed away and all these other things just seem so insignificant. The thing is I had the chance to share with this guy and I let it pass me by. I watched as he drank and laughed with him. From what i heard he fell from a 10 story balcony, how different could that have turned out if I had shared the truth with him. He might not have been drinking on that balcony (which is all i can assume). Now I'm not trying to blame myself in any way for this, but it just reminds me of the task I have not only here but in every aspect of life. The Father calls us to speak His Word to all! Even here I am not being brave enough, not bold enough and this is all I'm here for! Please lift me up and ask The Father to show me HOW to speak to these people and get this Truth known to them! I can't save but I can plant! Please lift up Bali! It is referred to as the Island of Demons and just fully so. I can feel the darkness and spiritual war fare taking it's toll and these people need to know about something better!! Thanks in advance!

Be Courageous! I Have Conquered the World

2010-04-04T20:28:00.000-07:00

- John 16:33

Sorry it's been so long since I last wrote. We haven't had much internet time. Nyepi was interesting, the night of they turned off all the outside lights of the hotel we were staying at. It was really creepy, but you could see the stars so clear. Reminded me that even though we are surrounded by this darkness, The Father is here and using us to shine His light.

On a higher note, my partner and I met an American! Go America! Haha, he was from California. He was a larger guy with a deep tan, could tell he wasn't aware of the hole in th e ozone layer thing. Anywho, we met him at an ATM machine down south and he was friendly, wanted to tell us all about his surfing adventures in Indo. Then when he went to pull money out he asked for our help in exchange rate. Being experts in the money by now, you know 2 months of experience, I told him that he was correct in assuming that 50,000,000 rupiah was about the same as $500. Then I said good by and left. As my partner and I were walking to find the rest of the group, it occurred to me that I had told him to add one too many zeros. So I had to guy take out $5000. I felt sooo bad!! I was the cause of his financial downfall!!
Luckily however, I was told you can only take out about$300 at a time. Whew! I just hope he didn't keep taking out $300 till he reached $5000. ADO!!!

When the Darkness Closes in Lord...BLESSED BE YOUR NAME!!!

2010-03-13T18:12:00.000-08:00

So this week is a holiday for the people here called Nyepi. It is a day of silence for the people here. They are not supposed to use electricity, eat, do any activities, go outside or talk for a whole day from 6pm to 6am. The funny part, however, is that most of them don't know why they do it. "It's just tradition." One person told us that it is to purify the environment to appease the gods. We have also heard that it is meant to deceive the spirits into thinking that there is no one on the island, but most people say that is not true. Anyways, it's a big deal here so we are going to a hotel because tourist are allowed to move around within hotel grounds. So we are doing that. But it will definitely be a time of darkness and lifting up, so please be lifting these people up constantly over the next few days.

"You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods." -Exodus 20:5

We helped make some of the offerings for a ceremony about a week ago. I felt guilty about it at first, but then it opened up opportunities for questions. We were able to explain the reason for us lifting up and to explain that our father is capable of feeding himself. We have been trying to figure out why they have to leave out food for a "god", if he is a true god he should be able to make the food himself. But most of them don't know why they do it, so they can't really give an explanation.

It's sad to see these people follow nothing. No one is certain of what they believe, they all have different ideas. They just do what is "tradition" and what they are told to do. Lift them up, let it break your hearts and lift them up!!!!

"Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause"

Oh yes I give you cheap price darling

2010-02-24T03:59:00.000-08:00

Okay so this week we have gotten to be tourists down south. It has been really fun and we still have a few more days. The first day we went to this really touristy, artsy place. There was a monkey forest and the monkeys jumped all over us. The second day we went to a really famous temple, it was gorgeous and right on the ocean. The best part of that day was that Brette and I held this HUGE python!! haha and we got to go touristy shopping which we had been dying to do. The beaches here are such a work of art on God's part. But the sellers are sooo annoying, Brette has to keep me in check because most of the time I am really rude to them because they bother me so much. We were eating lunch at an outdoor restaurant and they just kept walking up and trying to sell us stuff and they won't go away when you say 'thank you'. Patience...patience...patience!

Picture Perfect

2010-02-20T05:21:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures for ya'll to look at, hopefully I'll be able to add more this week!!

So here is a description of the pictures in order as you scroll down. First is from our first ceremony, all this was set up to the "god". We teach the kids English. I'm sitting on my bed. The place with the food is our favorite restaurant and really cheap!! They dressed us in traditional clothes. I KILLED A CHICKEN!! Our first hiking adventure, and last I'm mowing the lawn.

Summer Nights!!

2010-02-14T22:20:00.000-08:00

Just got back from a girls afternoon at the pool. Yes I heard 49 of the 50 states got snow and I got a sun burn. Wish I could say I was upset...but definitely loving this, minus the no AC. Anywho...

So since we aren't in America, Brette and I are having to learn to cook the Indonesian way. It certainly was not something I thought about when heading this way, but we are extremely privileged in the states to have microwavable meals, frozen food and packages with all the ingredients ready for you. Here we are having to learn how to cook from scratch. Let me explain...if I want tacos, (which I would probably have to substitute tofu for the meat), I would first have to make the flour tortillas-not quick- then mix the spices for the flavoring of the tofu. Not to mention that sour cream and cheese are pretty much out of the question b/c hey are expensive. What is even more difficult is that our kitchen consists of a portable stove top where the only heat settings are boiling and burn...not literally but the lowest setting boils water in about 10 seconds. We are extremely lucky that the couple we are living next to has a somewhat normal kitchen and the wife is teaching us a lot. So far we have learned to make biscuits, sausage and as a team we are still perfecting fried chicken. We also are learning to make casava chips, kinda like potato chips. We will be expert from scratch cookers soon...feel free to donate any from scratch recipes!!

"Earth, Earth, Earth hear from the word of the Lord." -Jeremiah 22:29
Our Father is so faithful! We have been thinking hard about the people in our village. We want them to have dreams and ask questions. So far two of the workers here were able to share the truth of the son's work with Bapek and the brother. We have also had several opportunities to share. We ask them to correct us as we read our Indo version of the book. Today the kids were asking the difference between us and them while reading. So that has opened the door to share more with them. WE have also thought a lot about meeting new people in the village and again our thoughts were heard. We have been invited to visit a few new homes and we have met some new people. Sometimes being a Boolay is a good thing!!

This week in the village showed us how much our family likes us. We didn't spend the night b/c we didn't want to be a burden, but every day they told us to just sleep there and stop driving back and forth. They were much more willing to let us help too. It took us one time or asking and they let us climb into muddy rice paddies and pick the rice. One day, as soon as we got there the sister asked if we wanted to sift sand with her. Another thought answered b/c we want to be considered a part of the family and j\not just visitors.

I want to encourage some, if not all of ya'll to be bolder in your walk. Maybe look into overseas work. It's really been put on my heart of how Global the message is meant to be:
"Lukewarm people are continually concerned with playing it safe, they are slaves to the god of control. This focus on safe living keeps them from sacrificing and risking for [the Father]." - Crazy Love pg.77

"As for me, here I am in your hands, do with me what you think is good and right. But know for certain that if you put me to death,k you will bring innocent blood on yourselves, on this city and on the residents, for it is certain the Lord has sent me to speak all these things directly to you." -Jeremiah 26:14-15
Be Bold. Be Unafraid. Don't let your fear hold you back, but the courage of the One carry you through.

The World Will Know His Name

2010-02-07T00:09:00.000-08:00

"Let the people turn to you, but you much not turn to them." - Jeremiah 15:19
This culture here is very artistic and strong. The people in our village make souvenirs for Spain! They are a beautiful type of mosaic work, some in the shape of bulls and some that look like you could put mirrors in them. We are going to try to make one each to bring home, we've already been helping them with the ones for Spain!! haha!!

"You must walk in every way I command you so that it may go well with you." -Jeremiah 7:23b
This week we walked with the brother of our family up the mountain and got to look down on the city that we stay in and some of the surrounding areas. It was beautiful! We went back up two days later just to write and Brette drew, it is a very relaxing place. We also went hiking this week to some different waterfalls, actually it was today. It was pretty fun, we got a little lost, but we found our way. The water was freezing but the work out was nice!! Brette and I successfully rode our bikes on the streets here this week!! We made it to Hardy's (the "grocery" store) and back without dying!

So my most exciting adventure of the week happened Tuesday. First I had to wake up at 5:45 AM, not my best time of day. Our Indonesian friend picked me up on her motor bike and we rode to a local market. There we bought two live chickens for 75,000 rupiah (about $7.50). I thought they would be brought out in separate cages, silly me, I'm in Indonesia!! They were brought to me tied together at the feet and hanging upside down. So I held them upside down beside the motor bike on the ride home. I was sure they would die!! But they didn't and that night our family taught me how to potong ayam (slaughter a chicken). I thought we were just going to chop the head off, but instead we sawed at the neck and let the blood drain out. I felt like a murderer!! Haha! Then we plucked the chicken and I got to cut it up. Then we ate chicken for dinner and the next night Brette killed her chicken, she did much better!

"They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious." - Jeremiah 8:11
We went to our first ceremony this week and I really didn't expect to feel anything during it. It was really small just us and 4 others, but as soon as the grandma started burning incense to their "gods" my heart just sank. It hit how real this is to these people, my heart is broken for them. The whole time I just wanted to leave. I felt sick to my stomach, I wanted to cry and all I could do is watch as these people prayed to nothing or even worse to Satan. After we walked outside and this old man was dying and they were just calm like it was a normal occurrence. Brette and I had to walk away. She prayed and I cried and to think I hadn't even thought I would feel anything. Please lift the people of Indo up continuously!! I have finally seen the seriousness of their wound.

"Do men make their own gods? Yes, but they are not gods! Therefore I will teach them- this time I will teach them my power and might. Then they will know that my name is Lord." - Jeremiah 16:20-21

Sebab upah dosa ialah maut, tetapi karunia Allah ialah hidup yang kekal dalam Kristus Yesus, Tuhan kita

2010-01-31T19:02:00.000-08:00

"The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus, our Lord." -Romans 6:23

So we just got back from our first four days in the village. Actually we are going back out tomorrow. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. The three of us stay in a small room with a mattress on the floor. I'm allergic to the room apparently because I couldn't stop sneezing and my eyes were itchy the whole time we were there. We will definitely be taking Benadryl this time! Every day we walked up the mountain to the garden so watch Bapek (dad) feed the cows. We are trying to convince him to let us go cut the food with him, but they all want to treat us like royalty. The food was...um a lot of rice. It wasn't all bad, but I definitely can't wait to get back to America for food.
The family is trying to teach us the Indonesian language and the Bali language at the same time. Ado!! It makes my head hurt because they will all be telling us stuff at the same time and once you've been learning for about an hour your head can't take much more in!!!!! haha, there is a little girl in the village that is terrified of white people, but I think we are slowly winning her over. A little boy there about 3 LOVES Brette and I, he cries when they take him away from us. He is so cute!!
So everyone here bathes like three times a day, but we have to walk to one "shower" and the other is in the kitchen without a door, so we wash our hair in the morning, then walk up and wash our bodies in the afternoon. And the bathroom is up the stairs too, and these are outdoor like up the mountain, not far at all, but it's just weird that there isn't a bathroom in the house. They haven't let us help very much, but we are trying to be bold and hoping they will let us kill chickens this week!!!!
On one of our days off we went to some waterfalls and did some jumping. Yes a 30 foot waterfall, I jumped from it!! It was crazy!

But keep lifting us up here and the people. Last night i felt the presence of darkness and to think that these people probably deal with that on a regular basis is pretty scary! So I'll try to write again when we get back! Love you all and miss you terribly!!

Saya tidak bisa bicara bahasa Indonesia

2010-01-24T23:18:00.000-08:00

"I do not speak Indonesian"

Haha!! Yes one of the first sentences I learned!! Everything is going great so far. I am in my town now and I am sharing a duplex with a couple from America. My partner Brette shares a room with me. No AC, no flushing toilet and no shower...and to think we haven't even made it to the villages yet...haha!!! Tomorrow starts our first journey into a village, it's only for 4 days, then we will go again next week for 4 more days. I'm very excited to learn about the culture and hopefully pick up the language.

The people here lead a very different life that us in America. They have small temples and shrines every where. They make offerings to these at least once a day and we see them everywhere as we walk through the streets, on cars, even on the computer desk. These people live in fear of their "gods" and the demons that go with it. "But their idols are silver and gold, made by hands of men.They have mouths but can't speak, eyes but they cannot see, they have ears but cannot hear, noses, but they cannot smell, they have hands but cannot feel, feet but cannot walk, nor can they utter a sound with their throats. Those who make them will be like them and so will all who trust in them." - psalm 115: 4-8

They say they believe in one god and that all others are just a version of the main one. But they have over 3 million... "You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that and shudder." - James 2:19

It is heart breaking to know that a people live in fear instead of hope, but don't know any different..."My people have exchanged their Glory for useless idols. Be horrified at this, heavens be shocked and utterly appalled." -Jeremiah 2:11-12

Please lift us up and our spiritual safety in this environment that the enemy won't be able to break through our beliefs or turn us against one another as we enter into the villages and learn more about this culture.

Yesterday on our drive to our town we saw monkeys on the side of the road...sooo cool!! haha, yes we got excited!! The pace of life here is much slower than that in America, but apparently it starts very early, at least in the villages. I guess you have to beat the heat. Please lift us up that we will not melt away!! The food so far hasn't been too bad. But we've had Americans catering to our American needs or at least looking out for us and keeping us from anything we might not like. These next few days will probably determine how much weight I will lose here!! haha!! I miss everyone dearly and i hope to keep you updated. If you comment please be weary of the fact that I am learning the culture and not to say anything offensive to the culture or way of life here...you never know who might see this!!!

Selamat Pagi

2010-01-18T05:13:00.000-08:00

Okay so it's day three in Manila and it's been a lot of orientation. Yesterday we had a small home church with just the few of us. Then we went into the city to a small Filipino church, they were singing normal praise songs that we all know! It was really fun, and the preacher would go between English and Tagalog. Then we learned about the whole catholic religion and how it is here in the Philippines. It was so crazy how different the religion is compared to what I thought. We visited a Catholic cathedral and it was pretty sad seeing all these people that were lost. But to get there we rode a train kinda like a subway and went through what I can only describe as a flea market. It was so packed, we had to hold arms so we wouldn't lose each other!! haha! Then we went to the Mall of Asia for dinner, one of the biggest malls in the world. The first night we saw fireworks at the mall, felt like I was back at Disney!!
Today we stayed in for the most part. We talked a lot about the Hindu religion and how they have all these different gods. We learned that there are a lot of forces over there that people actually encounter and it was so awesome to hear about. One of the guys here was talking to us and telling us that we can't be afraid because God has control over our bodies and that demons have no right over us. It was so awesome and I got so pumped up!! I'm just so ready to see this culture. Dad came today, so we got to go to dinner, I'll try to let you guys know more about what I've been learning if I have time tomorrow!! Love you all!!!

Here I am

2010-01-15T20:50:00.000-08:00

Well I'm officially in Manila!! I just had a lunch of Lasagna made by a Filipina lady, haha, it was sooo good. We have started orientation and it is finally sinking in that I'm about to spend 4 months in a country where I am the minority. I'm currently with 7 other girls, 3 who will be with me and the four others will be staying in the philippines. Every one is so sweet and super excited to serve! So I'll keep you updated as much as I can. Not much to report about other than the 20 hour plane flight ended up only being 14 hours and then 3 hours. We stopped in Japan and got off the plane for an hour. But they served us lots of food and it was a loooong flight! Love you all tons!!

Here I Go Again!!

2010-01-12T12:23:00.000-08:00

So in two days and less than 48 hours I will be on a plane headed to detroit, then to Manila!! That's in the Philippines in case you were wondering. I can not believe that I am about to embark on a 5 month long journey to the other side of the world with 3 people I have never even met before. But I can not wait. After Manila I'll be heading to the Pacific Rim and starting my life of living in villages. Yes, pottying in a hole in the ground, bathing from buckets, and sleeping on floors with clothes as my pillows. I feel like I should be dreading this, but the excitement is killing me!! It still hasn't sunk in that this isn't just an idea any more, it's going to happen and REALLY soon.
I'm going to try my hardest to keep this blog going while I'm over seas so ya'll will know how He is working and what all is going on. I have to admit that right now I'm not sure why I was chosen for this task. I am not saying this out of any kind of humbleness, but simply out of remorse for the sins that I have committed, not far in my past but still very recently. I know that He uses the least of us to do some of the most spectacular things and I do believe that He has chosen just that. In that sense I know great things will happen, not from my own abilities. I just don't feel that it is right for me to go over seas and people think that I am doing this great deed and am this wonderful person when the truth is that I have spent months away from my Love and have endorsed the world. I feel selfish to think that I have been chosen for this trip for my own self growth, since that is not the point of this trip, but it is meant for others. I did not feel that I could enter into a trip of service with all this on my back and confessing the sins that I have committed before I went. So though I do not find it fitting to list them here, I did feel the need to let it known. Please pray for me, not only that I will be given opportunites and open hearts, but also that long lasting change will occur. I love you all and I hope to keep you well updated on the impact whether small or large!!

Say What You Need To Say

2008-09-11T15:29:00.000-07:00

I'm reading a book called Starving Jesus and it is really great so far. I just finished a chapter called "Offend like Jesus." I am so confused on this subject as to how to approach people and at the same time its so clear. We walk by people on a street corner that are saying, "Repent, the Lord is coming" and we scoff at them. But we love John the Baptist in the Bible and feel free to correct me if I am wrong, but the Bible says that a voice will be heard crying in the desert to repent for the Son of God is coming. So are these people wrong? I don't think so, I do think they can go over board sometimes, but REPENT is the message that needs to be heard and maybe people need to be offended by it.
Okay that had nothing to do with the book, just something I've been thinking about. But I'm sitting in the library reading this book and that song, "say what you need to say" comes on. I'm kinda struck by it because it says, "Even if you hands are shaking, and your faith is broken, even if your eyes are closing, do it with your heart wide open." listing off the nerves that we have to deal with when you have something building up that you really want to say. Why do we feel so nervous about confronting people, especially about God. I think its possibly that we don't want to offend them, but even more that we don't want them to come back an offend us. but we need to be ready as Christians to answer the questions when they are brought up. And if we can't we need to be willing to say, "you know what, I have no idea, let me look into it and let you know."
I know for myself that I have two really close girl friends that I want to scream to, "Look at what you are doing with you life!! I can show you something better, just turn away from that!!!" And even though I no longer do the things that brought me close to them in the beginning, I know that my attitude and words can still be under scrutiny. Just the other day I got angry in a class and mouthed off to a teacher and complained the whole time to one of the girls. Afterwards I wanted to kick myself for being so stupid and acting like that in front of her. How can I say, "God will provide you a life of peace and happiness" when she just watched me be an angry jerk. People are watching more than just our actions, they are watching out reactions too. So we need to be aware of that. But what I'm trying to get to is that even though I'm afraid of here being able to say, "oh yea but look at how you acted the other day" or "look at how you acted freshman year", I still need to be willing to offend her in the name of Christ. This doesn't mean to fuss and tell her all her sins and that she is going to hell, but to just bring her the truth behind her actions. She won't like it because those who are in darkness don't want their sins brought into the light, but once they are there, you can start rebuilding a life.

"My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them. from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified."
-John 17:15-19

LOVE, LOVE,LOVE!

2008-09-03T21:03:00.000-07:00

So something I've been realizing lately is how much I am falling in love with God. I have never been so satisfied and sustained in my life. Everything is working together and I rarely feel stressed. It's like nothing else in this world really matters when you have someone so wonderful to guide you. It's a giddy love too. I get excited thinking about what God has done for me each day and just watching Him at work. I'm not concerning myself with plans, but I'm waiting for God to bring stuff to my attention. It's crazy to think that even with every person in this world, He still finds time to be in love with me. He makes me feel beautiful and perfectly fine when I look in the mirror. ahh, I love bein in love, especially with someone sooo amazing!!

"for the sake of his great name, the Lord will not reject his people, becuase the Lord was PLEASED to make you his OWN."

-1 Samuel 12:22

God Does Speak

2008-07-09T14:56:00.000-07:00

I've been struggling a lot lately with what I am going to do for the rest of my life. I graduate in May and then I was planning to take a year off then apply to Physical Therapy schools in North Carolina...namely UNC. But being at Caswell is doing a work on me and I don't know if it is because I am in this Godly setting where everyone is always in worship or because God is really trying to turn me towards the foreign missions field. But my heart has been so torn and I have been praying continuously that God show me what to do with my future. Today, at work, I was sitting in the guard stand and just praying (while watching the children swim), asking God to show me direction in my life. Now you know how there is always this, not really voice, but I don't know "voice" in your head when you are thinking about ideas to yourself, more like just ideas that pop into your head. Well this thought popped into my head "Don't you trust me to guide you?" and I knew that it was not my own thought but God had just spoken to me. I've never ever heard God speak to me before and I didn't know what it would be like when He did, but it was just so clear. I just sat there and thought, whoa, did God really just speak to ME?? Did that really just happen because I know that wasn't my own thought. And then I had to think, DO I really trust Him to guide me? Am I willing to not know what is going to happen tomorrow? Am I willing to just trust God to show me the way every day and not worry about what will happen in the future. My answer, I think I can do that for a God that loves me so dearly. I know that I can trust and that it will be hard, but that it is the least I can do.
Sitting here in the after math of all this, I was thinking about a verse so commonly known from Matthew, but I don't think we ever really grasp how important the verse is to life:
"But seek first the kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -Matthew 6:33-34
Don't worry about the future, it will worry about itself. How hard is that for us to do? To give up total control of what will happen tomorrow or the next day and just allow God to fulfill His purpose within us. It's a struggle, but it's what we are called to do each and every day. Trust, for God knows.

I'll Run to You

2008-04-28T19:11:00.001-07:00

So I'm being pretty corny today and I am trying to study because I have been studying non stop for three days and I can't take any more. I decided to watch a litttle tv and I came to this channel that is showing The Gospels of John. Yes it is one of those old movies that they used to make about the books of the bible, but I was intrigued, so I decided to watch. So far, so good...I'm not sure how it's going to end though... =)
Anywho, as I was watching it and seeing how they were portraying John the baptist, I was like, man this is going to be a horribly cheesy movie. But then Jesus showed up on the scene and they portrayed him the way I always think of him. He was smiley, and happy and all together pleasant. He was passionate and wise, but not irrogant. I loved it.
Then they showed him meet his first disciple and this is the part that really got me. Now we all know the verse in John, "Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, was one of the two who heard what John had said and who had followed Jesus. The first thing Andrew did was to find his brother Simon and tell him, 'We have found the Messiah'." So what did they show, Andrew high tailing it across the beach to tell his brother of Christ. And it made me think, here I have this love and this knowledge, but I know so many people that don't know Christ. What keeps me from running to them and telling them "I know what can save you, I know what can make you live!" I think it's shyness or probably insecurities that I don't know it all. I don't know but it does not really matter, it does matter that I'm not doing what I need to do. I saw how excited Andrew was, his face was lite up and his brother was reluctant to follow him, but he was so excited. Jesus says, "My father is always at work, so I too must continue to work." I'm going to take this to heart, I want my friends to know, I want them to understand. I want my family to know, I want everyone to know. So I'm going to not only show it in my life, but I'm going to speak of him non stop. Don't let me be a pharisee who says I believe and be reluctant to follow Christ as he commands me.
My prayer to Christ is to have the strength to stand for what I believe and to know that my praise does not come from men but God alone. If 12 men could impact a world, just think what we could do. So where will we get enough food to fill all these people? How about from the love of Christ.

Sex, Money and Power

2008-04-25T17:05:00.000-07:00

I've been really busy so I'm just going to put up these services. My church is doing Sex, Money, Power: the Man series and so far it has been amazing. Our church is always a good time. but anyways, this is really, really good for guys but I think girls can get a lot from it too. so here is the link to the series, pick whichever you feel most drawn to, or if you are bored, watch them all.

http://www.newspring.cc/225499.ihtml?id=225499

Washed by the water

2008-04-03T16:20:00.000-07:00

"Even when the rain falls
Even when the flood starts rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water
Even when the earth crumbles under my feet
Even when the ones I love turn around and crucify me
I won't ever, ever let you down
Won't fall as long as your around me"
-Needtobreathe
Washed by the Water

So this is one of those songs that I've listened to maybe twice before and it's so beautiful but for some reason it really hit home today. I guess maybe cause it's raining outside. But the beginning of the song talks about how their father is a preacher and how people started turning their backs on him and talking down on him pretty much, but that his father stuck it through and remembered who he served. But I love the line in this song that says "Even when the ones I love turn around and crucify me" because if there is one thing I've learned in life, it's that God is the only one that will never let you down. So many people you think you can count on, even your christian friends and family will eventually let you down somehow. They might turn away from you, but the only thing you can do is continue to love them with the love God has for you. But not only that but the fact that you are "washed by the water", it's obviously a metaphor for Christ life on earth, above the water you are a sinner, then you are dunked and completely surrounded by the love of Christ and you come out clean. Everything else from the world washed away and left with Christ. And it's just so amazing to think of how much he has done for us and how we no longer need to worry because he has taken it away and kept it for himself. It wasn't necessary, but he did it because he loved us.
Sorry ya'll, but if that doesn't make you want to jump up with joy for a never failing God, then I don't know what to tell you.
Oh and I think something that I really wanted to point out was that the best thing about all of this is that when we feel like everything else in the world is going to suffocate us and fall apart, there is God and his love to hold us.

Strength in God

2008-03-10T21:26:00.000-07:00

So while reading 1 Samuel I can to the point where the future King David was being basically chased by Saul. Now get a little bit of perspective on this. Saul was a mighty warrior, the first ever king of Israel, people loved him and looked up to him. Then he screwed up, so God decided that he would no longer be the king of God's people but that someone new would be. God chose David and of course you know the David and Goliath story...same David. So the people began to brag about David and pretty much thought he was amazing. So Saul got jealous and started chasing him to kill him because he didn't like the idea that the next king would not be from his direct family. Well as much as Saul hated David, his own son Jonathan absolutely loved David. He knew that David would be the next king and he was a Godly man himself.
Well anyways, to get to what this is really about, just imagine having to live with all this, knowing that a well known and loved man is trying very hard to kill you. You would probably get down on yourself. But listen to what happened:

"And Saul's son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and HELPED HIM FIND STRENGTH IN GOD." (1 Samuel 23:16)

The whole time I was reading all this stuff before thinking David is really a man consumed by God. He just seems like the perfect Christian. But then I read this and think, whoa, he wasn't perfect, he was losing strength in God. But hey, duh!! Only Jesus was perfect and had that kind of faith. It's crazy that we think of these "heros" in the Bible as being the perfect people, but you see that they all mess up some how. David loses faith and Moses did too. So if we think how easy it is for those who have had such close relationships with God to lose faith, think how much easier it is for those of us to lose faith. Scary huh? I think so. But what is awesome about it is that God placed someone in David's life to help him find that strength when he was losing it. This shows the importance of our christian relationships. We have to be accountable for one another and watch out for one another.

"Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds."
-Hebrews 10:24

So what I took away from this passage is that we all screw up. It's what we do, but by having those friends and that support to help lift us up, we can make it through the hard times. We just have to encourage one another in our faith.

Call me sin, I'll say loved

2008-03-05T14:45:00.000-08:00

I'm reading this book right now called Out of the Salt Shaker and Into the World by Rebecca Pippert and if you get the chance I would encourage reading it. It talks about how to be evangelical as a way of life, not just as something you do once a year on a mission trip or twice a week when you run into a poor victim. Anyways, so I'm reading about how we need to clarify the meaning of words that can easily be construed by non-christians and Becky (as we call her) gave an example of how she explained sin to a friend. Read:

"You Christians say we are all sinners"
"Do you know why? The Bible says it's because something very, very precious has been broken. If we wern't so significant, if we didn't have so much meaning, then it wouldn't be so sad. It's only when somehting precious has been broken that we can say, 'How tragic!' That brokenness is what the Bible calls sin. That's why God hates it so much. Sin caused something extremely precious to become dehumanized."..."[Sin is] anything that makes us less than we were created to be."

Okay so hold up, wait...what?? I always thought God was just jealous because we were worshipping other gods. I mean I knew he loved us, but I thought it was mostly just out of jealousy and wanting those he created to praise him so he could love them. I know, now that I think about it, that's pretty naive. But here she says that the reason God is angry about sin is because he cares so much and the fact that sin is pulling us away and making us less than we were created to be, it just infuriates God.
I don't know about you, but I think I have a totally new perspective on sin.

Here I Am

2008-03-04T22:49:00.000-08:00

So if you have ever read the story about Samuel you know the part where the Lord called him 3 times and he kept going to Eli saying "here I am, you called me." Finally Eli realized that it was God calling Samuel and he told Samuel to answer "Speak, for your servant is listening."
Anyways, I've been seeing a lot of this passage in the last few months. I've seen it in a few different lights and I think it's a pretty interesting passage. First, how often before we became Christians did we feel God calling us, but we just didn't know it was him? I know I had that, all my life I kept answering to other people and other things "Here I am", not knowing that God was the one pulling at my heart trying to get my attention. I think sometimes we still do that even as Christians. God is wanting us to do something for him, but we think it's something completely different. We feel it necessary to run for president of a club because we think we can lead people, isn't God the one that gave you that ability? And how do you know he isn't giving you an opportunity to witness by showing strength to this group of people? Just an example.
Secondly, Samuel says, "Speak for your servant is listening." Man I wish I could say that is what I say to God all the time. But dang, I know I don't. But when I do listen to God, life is so much better. And you always know when you aren't listening to God, because you can feel it in your heart and hear that little voice inside your head telling you different, but you try to convince yourself that this is what God wants. It's so silly, but we all do it, at least I think, I know I do. But working on it.
So here we see what we need to improve on in our daily walks of life. We need to realize that God is calling us to do certain things and that in everything we do we serve him. Not only that, but we need to listen to what he tells us. And here's the kicker, by listening to what he says we might just end up doing what he wants.

Can you hear me now??

2008-03-03T19:55:00.000-08:00

Okay so I finished reading Judges the other day and I realized something about God's choosen people. We suck! Oh my gosh, every few years the people would fall back into their disgusting ways and then beg God to send someone to save them when things weren't working out. Didn't they know that this is what he had promised if they didn't follow him?? He told them blantantly, I will ruin you if you turn away from me. But they kept following after other gods trying to find something better and then in the end always running back to God.
It made me look at my own life and wonder, how often do I do the same thing? How often do I try to find peace in the world and then come running back to Christ when everything else falls through. I've found that the thing I go after most is love, for some reason I just need love. And that's okay, God gave me that desire to love, he gave it to me so that I would desire to love him. But I always find myself looking to friends and family and boys trying to find that support and in the last year it has really hit me that I don't need any of that to find true love, because the love that I have been granted is so much better than that. God gave his son, he doesn't leave me when I suffer, and he never uses me for his on pleasure.
So I challenge you to think what it is in your life that pulls you away from Christ time and time again. I encourage you not to be like the Israelites of that age, stick with God, he will make you prosper when the time comes. Remember, "Condsider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds. For you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverence. Perserverence must finish it's work so that you will be mature and complete. Not lacking anything." -James 1: 2-4